Wednesday, 26 September 2007

... ἀγαπῶμεν ὅτι πρῶτος ἠγάπησεν ...

You know who and what I am.
You persist in loving me.

Of these, I live and breathe.

Monday, 17 September 2007

A Guess

Were Immanuel Kant devoutly Christian, the doctrine he would be most capable of expounding would be the hypostatic union.

Sunday, 9 September 2007

Tracing the Silver Lines

Reading the St. John of the Cross' Spiritual Canticle in the bath tonight, the following stanza shone:
O spring like crystal!
If only, on your silvered-over faces,
you would suddenly form
the eyes I have desired,
which I bear sketched deep within my heart.
The words of the Mystical Doctor illustrate poignantly an analogous (mark that word!) experience that I have been having for many months now.
I struggle to pray. I do not mean the sudden blazes of prayer that no-one can resist, which strike unexpectedly in the most mundane of circumstances ... nor do I mean that my belief in the Apostolic Faith has in any way waned. What I mean is perhaps hard to explain, but I shall try.
If I utter His Name in the forced silence of my heart, the fingers of my soul trace carefully, lingeringly, the silver outline of a cross. But I cannot feel it; It is cold, but only in the absence of heat.
The days where the rhythm of the liturgical hours were as a second heartbeat have passed, and I beat upon the winds to return to it, but I have not. I dare not say I cannot.
I no longer want contemplation, or piety, or studiousness, or diligence, or knowledge of the truth. What I want is Christ. Just and simply, Christ. Whatever proceeds forth from him then, may be.
How I hate the piety of these words, and how I hate the saintly image they construct.

Christ, banish these illusions!
Let me be.

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Musing on a Spring Morning

lente is winter volbring
die wereld se ysharte bloei
sagkens in die wind strelend
die smarte wat sing

(and translated)

spring is winter's fulfillment
the frozen hearts bleeding vibrant
lulled by the satin breeze:
sorrow's symphony